this is my job?

o my gosh look at this place.....is that a 3-D Tree?...whaaaat!....."sir are you heading to the networking gala?" ...well yes....yes i am... "allow me to escort you to the 21st floor" Thanks buddy.

this is how my night began...myself and my partner Etta then proceeded to room 2102....after starring at this enormous modern oak door, we ring the door bell and are immediately greeted by a room full of millionaires.....who couldn't be happier to see us.... i immediate thought

This is my job?

We then entered the million dollar condo on top of the city of Dallas....we were sitting on couches that were made of snake skin....staring at hand painted pictures of the owners....sipping cocktails and rubbing shoulders with Dallas's finest :)

O and did i mention the party was sponsored by Three olives Vodka? ........take a second and process that.

Full open bar....needless to say...i was happy.

.

and Etta of course enjoyed a few glasses of $1200 wine.

the night went on and i sold some tickets and invited some people to come to Vegas etc etc but the best part of the night was the 2 bulldogs that were roaming the party all night...it was my heaven. :)

the second best part was everything we experienced added to the fact that 90% of the guys there were gay...and gay guys are seriously THEE people to party with.(Side note: if you have never partied with gay males...you are seriously missing out...and im not talking the kind that want to stick their tongue down your throat..im talking about wealthy married dudes) ..i had an awesome time and met some amazing people....

now back to the 3-D tree....yes it was a three dimensional tree in the lobby....i felt like i was in the matrix.

Needless to say this event was the highlight of my trip here to Dallas.

once the sun went down we went out the balcony overlooking the city and took it all in. Three olives kept the night going with all kinds of samples of drinks i could not name nor do i need to...because they were handed to me hah...no ordering/tipping necessary

Thank you to everyone who showed me what its like to be at the top!

Very good night....still cant believe this is my job....lol

my.thoughts.exactly

while we're on the subject....

So while we are on the subject...heres some other things that grind my gears......i will put this in bullet form

Thing i cant stand (and please...take offence to this)

-when you are merging onto a highway....and people are in the right lane and will not let you over till the last minute/or speed up to pass you

-taking the crust off your sandwich.

-mustard

-People who don't say hi.

-comedians who are not funny

-cranberry juice

-pictures of things you see everyday in real life.

-Chinese checkers

-commercials that could be funnier

-Neck Ties

-the Ford symbol

-the fact that coca cola can make a zero calorie beverage that tastes exactly the same as coke...yet they still have the 800 calorie version to tempt us

-"Bagel Stop Lights" = stop lights that take so long, you can eat an entire bagel while waiting for it to turn green

-people who insist they can "off" someone... you're not tony soprano, and no you can't...thats murder

-the overuse of funny phrases. maximum use is 7 times per month

-80s music

-quoting movies that no one has ever seen...and laughing...by urself

-comedians that are not funny....did i say this one?

Things i like

-half price appetizers

thats it for now....more to come....

my.thoughts.exactly

Dallas is not Fort Worth....and other rants

Hello all....so today i was working in what i thought was Dallas TX but was actually Fort Worth. I was scolded by a 100 year old lady for calling where she lived, "Dallas" . She said....and i quote.."listen here yungun...this is NOT Dallas....this here in FORT WORTH TEXAS! Dallas is where the EAST ENDS and Fort Worth is where the WEST BEGINS!, Git it right then come on back tamora (Tomorrow)." So there i was ....standing alone...in fort worth...with my dignity spilled all over the side walk. A 100 year old lady just gave me the business.... so ladies and gentlemen...do not make that mistake....EVER!

Rants: I hate this...... "and then i totally got wasted with @Mark Franklin and we were all partying at @Sinderellas Rib Shack..." First of all twitter is horrible....but to take twitter into real life conversation with this ridiculous "@" before every noun is making me want to throw up. my name is not @David McClain.....my name is David McClain...Now...i will admit, im angry because im ignorant....and who knows...in a week i may be "@"ing everyone and everything i see....but until then...i hate twitter...and i hate the @ sign....its stupid...@ means AT....and you were not partying with AT david mcclain. That just doesnt make sense.....turrable.

Rant: Another thing that grinds my gears...is the NBA draft.. i wont event tell you why...ill just lay out my proposal to the NBA. The first 3 picks can have 3 minutes each to pick and interview and get your tiny hat that doesn't fit, and show off your rented suit...the rest of the picks occur in 5 second intervals via lighting rounds. each team gets 5 seconds to pick their player and if they dont, they lose their pick. there is no commentary because i swear i heard "well you know the guy is gonna have to mold into an NBA player before he's a superstar"..........ARE YOU SURE?....yes we all know he will have to forget about passing, learn how to force shots, travel often, and score 50 a game in order to be a super star. Oh and he has to be over 6 feet tall because there was a certain player named Allen....wait what was his last name....anyway...he did all of that and he will most likely be forgotten in the next 5 years. even though he was the leading scorer in the NBA. So thats my plan for the NBA i hope it works out

More rants to come...i hope you enjoyed our time together today

my.thoughts.exactly

Living in Vegas...

A lot of people tell me... "BRO IT MUST BE AWESOME LIVING IN VEGAS!"...and to that i say....Yes, Yes it is. Honestly the best part about moving across the country is realizing how small of a world it actually is... for instance...we move out here..and our neighbor is a cousin of one of lindsay's friends from school. something else thats cool is seeing your city on every commercial/tv show/anything media. If you haven't already...try going a day without hearing/seeing/feeling/smelling something about vegas on or around your being. it just doesnt happen....and of course there is the fact that as soon as you move to Vegas....everyone in your life becomes your best friend. Almost every day i hear from someone that i havent talked to since Y2K telling me when theyre coming to Vegas and that it is my duty to show them a good time...which is fine by me :) but its something worth noting.

Being a Vegas local also has its perks, and although i haven't gotten my cool Nevada licence, i still get alll the inside scoop. I know exactly where to go and when to go there..for the cheapest nights out, in one of the craziest cities on the planet. And i do this mostly through Facebook stalking. for instance, if you look at my friends list on the book, you will see that i am friends with at least 1 promoter/door man from every nightclub/bar in the city. This my friends is what i call "Leverage" and Leverage=Advantage :) Fine I'm a stalker but I'm a stalker who's in the club like 50 cent.

So if you haven't "secret messaged" me your vacation itinerary yet....now's the time to do it. I'll be the guy by the pool sipping Dirty Arnold Palmers answering texts.

my.thoughts.exactly

Here we are...

Ok quick warm up.....strettttttttttttttttttttttttttttch........ok here we go. Welcome! Welcome! Welcome to the ventures of "me". for those of you who have not been keeping up with me via "Reality", here's a little insight into the life of David McClain currently... I am engaged to marry Lindsay "Squish" Walsh. I live in Las Vegas, NV. I work in Sales at Jordan Wirsz International. My family is East Coast. My Heart is in Philadelphia. I Live to Laugh, but more importantly than that I live and love to make you laugh. And thats basically me.

So here we are...

This blog will serve as my personal/professional dumping grounds.

Personal: All of the things I think of that I feel you should also be thinking of...

Professional: Follow me and JWI on our journey around the world, through the eyes of the busiest man in the company ;)

Grammar Disclaimer: i sparingly capitalize my "i"s and i over use periods(.)...

To Conclude...

I hope you enjoy this journey. I know I will. These....are My.Thoughts.Exactly.